hello, my dearest pain.

hello, my dearest pain. here we are, meeting, yet again. i thought i lost you, i thought i shook you off months ago. i thought that the cries of a little girl for her mother night after night,  after i let the blood run the last time, i thought the strength the move gave me, i thought the heartbreaks i endured, i thought they gave me enough pain to last forever. but here you are, yet again, to torture my soul. i do not understand the way you twist me into such a way, not even god can fix. you let him, excuse me, you let them have me. i believed that after making so many mistakes, i was finally doing something right. silly, naive me. i thought he would not lie to me or cheat me out of my own love. i thought his promises meant something. i thought i was good enough for him. but stupid me, for believing i was worth something. anything at all to this world. i try, can't you see it? can you not see my desperate cries for love and the warmth i was once filled with? why can't i be what he wants? what anyone wants? hello, my dearest pain, i see you're here for an extended stay.