I already know.. 11.25.

I know me. I know my patterns. I know my behaviors. I know my thoughts. I know my actions. I know my weakness. I know my strength. I know my problems. I know the solutions. I know the easy ways out. I know what scares me. I know what makes me smile. I know what makes me cry. But if know myself like i think i do, then why? why the hell do i think its ever going to be different? why do i think it might be completely unlike all the other times? maybe, i think, he's gonna see it. he'll se no one will ever love him like i do. no one will know what makes him tic, what makes him smile, what to say when he's mad, how he cant look people in the eye when he's upset, no one bill be as patient, as sweet, as forgiving, as kind, as open as right for him as i am. but he doesn't care. i'm just the backup, the bestfriend, the extra. I know i'm a beautiful person, i know i'm not worthless, i know i'm gonna find someone someday, but i want him to tell me that. i want him to see i'm a great person, or beautiful or smart. all my friends and family could say it a million times, but when he's says it, even if its a lie, it means the most. i really believe it. but i wonder why cant he see were perfect together? i just want him to be happy. forever happy. and i want to be that person to make him that way.