brokeness.

just because you're broken doesn't mean you can't be happy. and just because you're happy doesn't mean you can't be broken. i learned this within the past year or so of my life. i accepted the fact that i may have many parts of me that are broken, destroyed, shattered and lost, but i also accepted the fact that i can be as happy as i want to be. and i want so badly, so very badly, to be happy. i want to feel the sweet joys of my life and dance in an infinite field of possibility. i want to kiss with passion, love without pain, smile without faking it, and forgive without difficulty. i so often find myself feeling so empty and unknowing, but i think it's because i knew exactly what was wrong and i knew i could be fixed and it scared the shit out of me. because i may be whole again or i may be some-what normal. i wouldn't constantly struggle with depression or abandonment. i'm not saying i'm willing to change right now and move on or start the journey of my self recovery, but for now, i can sit back, smile, and be as happy as you can be in the state i am in. i may still be lost or confused, but that won't stop me from the love and happiness i have in my heart.