well.

i hate that feeling. you know the one, where you're afraid to let go because you might miss out but at the same time, you're afraid to hold on because you don't want to get hurt. sometimes i wonder. i wonder about the world and the life i live, but i also wonder about the future. what it holds. what if.. what if i never get to be all that i want, or what people expect. i don't get married or have kids or have perfect grades. i look at my brother and he has what i wish i could have. he's smart, an amazing writer, popular, attractive, skinny, built, has a girlfriend, my parents support, plans. i have nothing. i feel like i won't ever equal up to chase. and it's one of the scariest things in the world. if i don't turn out as good as everyone sees him turnout, where am i left. no where.